You know that feeling when you’ve done something great, an achievement you’ve been working on for ages and you can’t wait to tell someone, but you don’t want to appear to be bragging or showing off…trust me, you’re not alone in this. 

Firstly, women are more likely to play their achievements down, as shown in this LinkedIn Study.  

We know that women are perceived differently from men in the workplace.  If women are dominant, decisive and loud, then they are seen as competent but not liked.  If women are seen as nurturing and emotional, they are liked but not seen as competent. Therefore women are rarely seen as competent AND likeable. This is called a woman’s Double Bind dilemma.  It leads to women working twice as hard as men for the same recognition.  (Catalyst Infographic) 

In addition, within some South Asian cultures, there is a message of don’t share too much of your success or stand out because you’ll attract ‘nazar’/ the evil eye and something bad will happen to you.  My mum used to put a black kohl dot behind my ear to ward off ‘nazar’ before going to weddings or parties and even now there seems to be a big rise in people wearing protective bracelets or necklaces with the eye symbol, showing it’s still very real and alive today. 

Many women prefer letting their work speak for themselves and believe that if they keep producing high-quality work they will be noticed, but unfortunately, workplace dynamics are more complicated than that.  Promotions can still be down to who you know and how you stand out.  As such it’s important to be in control of creating your brand and letting people know what you’re capable of, therefore we all need to be confident in sharing achievements in a way we feel comfortable with. 

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Here are my tips on confidently speaking about your achievements without feeling as though you’re bragging.

Say you’ve just completed a project and you’re feeling great about it, it’s a huge milestone for you. Where can you share this achievement?

Your manager and team should be the first to know, so in meetings make sure that there is a space for sharing with your wider team that everyone takes part in. They should know what you’ve been doing, and how you have overcome challenges and got results. Be honest. If something didn’t go well, what did you learn from it? Instead of sharing only the highs, it helps to also relate to the downs and how you got through them, showing how resilient and resourceful you are.

Another place to share is at networking events and social events where you can raise your profile. Speak to others outside of your team about what you do, your aims and achievements, but reciprocate too by asking questions of others.  Bragging is seen when someone is only talking about themselves, so by asking questions and listening to their responses, you can add pertinent follow-up questions.

Perhaps an opportunity arises for a new project or event that you want to be involved with because it would be great to raise your profile, work with new people or learn a new skill.  Ask questions about it first and then speak about how your experience/knowledge would be a great fit for it, this way you will actively match your experience. This removes the feeling of bragging because it’s more focused on a specific event and you can tailor your response accordingly.

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As the leadership picture is changing and there is a real focus on diversity in leadership we are seeing momentum behind smashing these stereotypes and breaking the bind. 

I’m an advocate for authentic leadership, this means working with your natural style and raising your self-awareness to enhance your skills as a leader where you can communicate effectively with everyone.  Download my Transform Your Communication workbook if you feel that you want to review and develop your communication skills.

For women I think this is especially a great time to focus on leadership development, you are needed to represent women in all industries, organisations, and levels of leadership.  I believe that the more we share, the more we can inspire others too, so make it known how amazing you are.

If you are looking for support in improving your confidence to share your achievements and develop your personal brand at work, please contact me for a free Clarity Call.